oh just waiting to get weird

So. I think that people spend too much time searching for the perfect soul mate, but should really be spending time becoming the perfect soul mate.

Preach through practice.

Things are good. So good. Working on keeping my level regardless of what is going on around me. I feel so at peace. Its beyond happiness i think. beyond excitement. Its just peace. It needs no facial expression or description. It just simply is.

I'm trying to just think without words, and know without thinking.

oh we have so much to learn.

i feel in some way that i was born knowing things that people spend their entire lives trying to figure out. and although it has led me to the darkest places, i never lose the light. i speak in contradictions a lot. but life is made up of them.

i decided to start giving in to the madness. for a long time i was rationalizing everything. because most relationships are not rational. you can talk yourself out of feeling anything for anyone because most of the time it all leads to pain. but it was boring. i felt as though my mind had reached the finish line before my body. im letting myself live.

man. i am really really happy right now. and im not scared. im usually scared when i reach this point. scared that it's too good, and something bad has to follow. but i have faith in this moment. and every moment following.

i find peace just in knowing that certain people exist.